CH: Um. Haagen Dazs.
KLC: Where’s the coolest place you’ve ever traveled to and what was so cool about it?
CH: Florence. Hands down. The art, the food, the hospitality was ridiculous. The (very sexy) guy who owned the B&B where I stayed was an amazing guide, took me to aaaaall the spots and then didn't even charge me for my stay. Plus I ate vegetables there that I wouldn't eat here. And liked them.
KLC: Name one movie you can quote and then quote it.
CH: Scream. "Aaaaaagggghhhhh!"
KLC: Pick one: Eleanor Roosevelt, Angela Davis, or Ellen Johnson Sirleaf.
CH: Angela Davis. Duh. Although to be fair, I have no idea who Ellen Johnson Sirleaf is. I'ma Google her as soon as I'm done answering these questions.
KLC: The United States electoral process is _______________________.
CH: ...only as good as its turnout. I'm looking at you, defeatist-ass complaining-ass, non-voting motherfuckers.
KLC: What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever done to get someone’s attention?
CH: I really had to think long and hard about this one because I really don't remember ever doing anything strange to get attention. I usually am just like, "Hey. Here I am. Take me or don't." I'm flat-footed. To a fault sometimes. Ask any of my unrequited crushes.
KLC: If you had the opportunity to patent a brand new product, what might that be?
CH: A melanin-activated impenetrable force-field. In child and adult sizes.
KLC: Which of the following is least likely to ever exist: bigfoot, elves, or government regulation on Wall Street?
CH: Well, I've seen pictures of bigfoot and have actually seen elves like a malls and stuff, sooooooo...
KLC: Can you share something about yourself that no one has ever asked you about in an interview before?
CH: I used to be a semi-professional Taiko drummer. I took it up as a way to pay homage to my grandmother, who was Japanese. Had to quit when I started getting symptoms that I now know were caused by Multiple Sclerosis. Bummed me out big-time. I was pretty good, and it appealed to my love of both precision and booming-ass bass.
Chisa Hutchinson's award-winning plays, which tend to probe social issues, include She Like Girls, Sex on Sunday, The Subject, Dead & Breathing, and Somebody’s Daughter among others. She’s been a Lark Fellow, a Dramatist Guild Fellow, a resident at the William Inge Center for the Arts a New York NeoFuturist, and a staff writer for the Blue Man Group. She is a proud second-year member of New Dramatists. (www.chisahutchinson.com)